Self-Reflection Practice
Naikan: An Exercise for Balanced Relationships
To be done in a given period of time, say 24 hours...
This exercise is meant for your own inner work, not for showing to the other person. Ideally, practice this for a week, each day, and really describe all the little tiny things from that week (like – "he did the dishes", "I rubbed his shoulders").
Set Aside 10 to 20 minutes. You can do this in deep thought, or maybe writing in a journal. Here it is:
- What have they contributed to me, done for me, to make my life richer?
- What I have I contributed to make their life richer?
- What difficulties have I caused this person?
Allow yourself to feel gratitude for what you received, and take responsibility for any distress you caused without falling into guilt or self-pity
Naikan is a Japanese self-reflection practice that balances relationships by shifting focus from self-centeredness to gratitude and responsibility. It is done by reflecting on three questions about a specific person or period of time.
"Perhaps the biggest mistake I made in the past was that I believed love was about finding the right person. In reality, love is about becoming the right person."
Willow Soul Healing · Counseling & Hypnotherapy